It is March, which means we are one month away from "Autism Awareness Month." I'd like to defy the crap out of this month and light it up yellow! Forget blue! Let's make this a month of action! Let's don our yellow Canary Party colors and represent!! More on that topic later. Now, let's get to business!
This is a letter I've been dying to write for over a year. It feels so good to let it out, even if she never actually reads it. So here I am, please indulge my little piece of therapy. The last post of Elijah's story tore me up. I need this ;)
Our upcoming posts will start becoming more outward driven and less "about me." I have some guest bloggers lined up to share some information and stories as well.
Dear Dr. F (abbreviated out of what little respect is left for her),
Thank you.
Thank you for showing outstanding ability to fit right into your niche profession as a westernized pediatric doctor. You are a stellar representative of everything the AAP stands for, they really should give you an award or something.
The day we met (I'm sure you won't remember this, as it was 4.5 years ago and lord only knows how many hundreds of patients you've been with since that day), was my son's first day of life. We were still at the hospital and you came to visit, nice and early to make your rounds with your new little patients. I was so excited to meet you and very eager to entrust his health to you. All you had to do was smile and make small talk and bam! I was you new biggest fan! By the time we met, Elijah had already had his first vaccine after his less than safe entrance to the world. I think you looked him over for about 3 minutes and declared him perfectly perfect, aside from the strange birthmarks on his leg that no one could identify.
Our first well child visit was only a few days later. I had more time to really think about the "whole vaccine thing" and you quickly dismissed my reservations with the memorized "it's perfectly safe, absolutely nothing can happen, autism and vaccines are not linked" spiel. Thank you for putting my mind at ease.
Thank you for continuing to put my mind at ease over the next year and a half when I brought up my reservations and concerns about his regression. You made me feel much better every time we shot him up. Thank you for helping me sleep better during those long nights.
Thank you for finally recognizing Elijah's issues at 18 months old. Thanks for shrugging it off as a common issue and scribbling down a number at the school district to get him enrolled with Early Intervention. Thank you for making it all someone else's problem immediately. Thank you for putting us on a 9 month waiting list with Seattle Children's to get screened for autism. Autism. The scary word I mentioned before that you scoffed at. The word you couldn't even help me understand. Thank you for addressing the issue just long enough to get it off your own shoulders. Thank you for making us wait 9 grueling months of little answers, little help and little hope.
Thank you for finally showing your true colors. Thank you for leading me away from modern pediatrics. It was actually quite a relief to walk into that naturopath office knowing I'd never be pushed to vaccinate, medicate, fluoridinate, or lose complete control of my children. Thank you for paving the way to this new lifestyle before you maimed both of my children. Thank you for helping me realize Dana was right. The things she taught me on the side. The "crazy conspiracy" stuff. The gateway into the world of biomed, healing, community and most importantly, TRUTH. The vaccine injury world has saved my sanity and it will save my son.
Thank you for not even noticing we left. Thanks for not ever calling to check in on us when we didn't show up for several months. Or for checking in when Seattle Children's accidentally sent you Elijah's results instead of the new doctor. Thank you for your support, your concern and your care.
Truly, Dr. F. Thank you for the vaccine injuries, the lost faith in modern medicine and for the autism.
Thanks for nothing. Thanks for everything.
Sincerely,
Nicole
~Cheers
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